The reason why I say halfway inspired is actually the theme of this post. The woman who taught the workshop was called VJ Waks and she's self-published two novels - Tau 4 and Hammerspace. She's quite the forceful lady, very self-assured and capable, without a shred of doubt about anything. It's incredible to see this, but it's also troubling.
|I guess they know their audience?|
I hope she wasn't completely a creature of hubris, because she is very much like me. Ms. Waks began as a neuroscience major, eventually getting her master's degree in Neurobiology. WHAT? I know right? How eerie that her journey mirrors the potential path I would like to follow. Her novels are science fiction, the genre I'll probably be put in should I publish. She gave up her neuroscience career to write, and she loves it now. She thoroughly enjoys her life.
|This guy wrote Moby Dick. No one knew that when he was alive.|
Why isn't someone this good, with this kind of talent, more popular? Because all she's got is herself? Well then why didn't an agent take her on? What didn't they see? Marketability? This begs the question of whether or not I'm writing for money. Which makes me pause. Because I'm not really sure what I'm writing for.
|I feel like this kid a lot of the time. 'Cept not for coloring.|
Obscurity is what I fear, and what I'm writing against. God damn it, I don't want to fade into obscurity. I don't want to end up has some has-been science fiction writer teaching workshops with only two or three people attending in some tucked away part of a university with an all-html website with nothing but 14 reviews to my name. I'm making no progress in this blogpost so instead of a satisfactory denouement, I'll leave you with these last few desperate words. Obscurity terrifies me. And the business of my life keeps pulling me into that black hole of fear and doubt.
So I guess the workshop did great things for my book, but few good things for my ego. Until next time then.