Monday, October 12, 2009

The Old Man of the Sea

Hello Reader!  The title above is for Chapter 8.  I'm not exactly sure how to describe the way I came upon the name Proteus, who is Briok's best friend and an incredibly, incredibly important part of the story.  To tell everyone here the truth, the names of the most important characters in the book were wholly made up.  I consider myself incredibly lucky that I got these names down.  Anyways, this blogpost is dedicated to a review a friend of mine gave me on the first chapter.

I've been asking some people to review the first few chapters of my book.  And through this process, I realize how the structure of my book may not be the best.  I'm going to still run with it, because those readers who have seen the book say that the storyline is interesting enough for them to continue reading. But I have my doubts about the book's quality.  At this point, I'm wishing that I had an English teacher or something who could read this for me and tell me what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong.

My reliance on cliffhangers might be a little too obvious in the novel.  A lot of breaks in the chapters end on quotes by characters, like a soap opera, and the beginnings of some chapters are quotes.  I sort've throw the reader into the novel's dialogue from the very beginning.  Here's the first paragraph of the entire book:

“And here we go again,” Tov sighed.  It closed Its eyes in frustration, and rubbed Its temples, “Are you ready Yfel?  Oh, of course you are.  We’re both ready for this to end.  It’s out with the old, and in with the new!”

So this blog post is going to be short.  I don't want to bog down the blog with an overlong rant about apprehension and anxiety.  I'll be sending out queries this weekend when I'm at home, so that should be a great subject for next week's post.  The main point of today's message to the readers was that if you're reading this casually, and you have time on your hands, read Chapter 1 please.  Just leave your name and e-mail address, and I'll send it to you super-quick.  Not only that, I'll delete your e-mail from the comments afterwards.  Thank you to those who decide to do this.  Until next time then.


  1. Anonymous2:11 PM

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  2. thanks al for joining the readership club. :)

  3. Check your e-mail. This is there. I know this might be a bunch to ask but perhaps whenever you get around to editing chapter one...could you send it back to me? Even if you completely disregard everything I have to say, I do enjoy seeing how authors grow between each draft.

    Also, I left a lot of vague comments, mostly just drawing attention to places that jarred me as a reader. I know some authors who like very specific guidance, so if you want something less vague, just ask. I have no problem offering precise solutions and that kind of thing.