Liminality

Hello Reader!  The title above is the title for the seventh chapter in The Proxy Wars: Dramatis Personae.  As stated in a previous post, which is linked to in this blog post, the chapter is dedicated to showing the two worlds that Briok must now tread in.  Hopefully it's not so Harry Potter-ish that it looks like I'm imitating J.K. Rowling.

I was really struggling with what this blog post should be about.  Either I would give a character list, or update on the query search for an agent.  Since the latter is going nowhere, I think a list of important characters is the best thing to do.  It's a pretty big list, so the most important will go ahead of the jump.

Briok Cwornas Adam Cwartel: Four names, definite allusion to Albus Brian Wulfric Dumbledore.  Briok is the main character of the entire story, just not the first book Dramatis Personae.  The reason for this is that I needed an introduction, that's what the title means after all, to the characters of the story.  So, I use Amar in that capacity.  He is the last Magna Beast ever, and is thereby tasked with killing the last two Howlamegas.  He is only 14 years old at the beginning of the story.  By the end of Personae, he'll have finished his first year of high school, or Upper School as the novel calls it.

Amar the Mind Priest: The mentor to the Magna Beasts since the seventh generation of the line.  He is one of the Mahabura, an alien species capable of manipulating the elements of mythology.  They can do this because they are actually made up of those elements.  Fire Mahabura are actually fire, etc.  Amar the Mind Priest is capable of manipulating the mind.  I understand there's no scientific way that this could be possible.  That's why I would probably define my story as a fantasy novel rather than call it science fiction.

Arthur Fourgun: He was once the greatest Mag soldier.  He is now a crippled, blind author of several best-selling novels about the history of the Magna Beasts and Howlamegas.  He is another mentor of the Magna Beasts, serving in that capacity since the 22nd generation of Magna Beasts.  Two points to remember: there are only 26 Magna Beasts, meaning Briok is the 26th.  The second point is that Mags in general live for several centuries because of a special healing ability that evolved in their species.  They're like starfish, but they can actually concentrate where the regrowth or repair can occur.  Another sidenote is that the Magna Beasts are capable of living for much longer, and heal without having to concentrate on the site of repair

Tory Cross: The mafia boss who is in control of the Cross Family.  I've based my mafia world on the little characteristics of the Yakuza that I know, as well as a few Godfather tidbits.  I wanted to create something troubled, where the weight of their actions sits heavily on their shoulders.  So, Tory is my channel through which I can show my hesitant love for Greek tragedy.  His inherent traits bring about tragedy for him and his family.

Kilik the Howlamega: Kilik is the main antagonist for much of the story.  His son, the 26th and final Howlamega, comes much later in the story.  Kilik is cursed with long life just as Amar is, but he experiences bodily degradation unlike Amar.  His natural healing abilities are constantly combatting this curse, and the toll is very visible on him.  He is also the ruler of Territoria, the gigantic land concession won by the Howlas after the Fourth World War that ended in 3070, 26 years before the events of Dramatis Personae.

Deus Ex machina

For anyone that's familiar with the term, Deus Ex Machina seems a bit inappropriate for a chapter title.  But so does Dramatis Personae for a book title.  Basically, it means "God out of the machine".  It's a device that refers to a solution in a novel that comes out of the blue to solve a plot point.  In this chapter, the main focus is on Amar and Arthur Fourgun.

Amar is the mentor for the Magna Beasts (the title given to leaders of the Mag people).  He's been alive for millenia, sort've a curse thing that's never really explained.  I don't think there really needs to be an explanation.  The curse affects him adversely, and this tragedy is all that needs to be shown.  He trains the Magna Beasts in the physical aspect of their mission, teaching them how to fight and use their inherited skills.  Arthur Fourgun is a former soldier in the Mag army who was blinded by the Howlamega.  Since he was blinded, he became another wise elder figure for the Magna Beasts, teaching them about their history and preparing them for the psychological aspects of murder and warfare. 

These two, in this chapter, find the God from the machine and even create one of their own in order to solve the following problem.  But the excerpt is not from this, because I promised action this time around.  So, the excerpt is from Chapter 9: Capo di tutti Capi.

The Ties That Bind

That's the title to the fifth chapter.  I'm sure you might be thinking right about now, well this book seems pretty episodic young author!  It might be.  I don't think it is, I hope it isn't.  I've named each chapter to underline, put in bold, and italicize the chapter's theme.  So, as a bit of a conceit, this blog will be dedicated to underlining, putting in bold, and italicizing each chapter title that I have as of now for The Proxy Wars: Dramatis Personae.

For Chapter 1, the title is the Joker and the Thief.  The chapter title does refer to the Bob Dylan song and Jimi Hendrix cover.  If you look up the meaning of the song, you'll see it's about changing the established order.  And that's exactly what my joker and my thief in the chapter are trying to do.

Chapter 2's title, Three Days Later, is pretty upfront.  I start up the story three days after the events of the previous chapter.  It's a bit more forward than I'm actually used to, but not everything can mean something.

Chapter 3, Runaway is again another very upfront title.  Briok, our young hero, runs away from his mentor Amar.  Not to reveal too much about the chapter, but he gets into an enormous amount of trouble with the mafias because of this.

Chapter 4, An Answer for Everything.  This may look upfront, but it actually isn't because it's a direct rebuke to anyone who is begging for answers from the book.  There've been 78 pages before this of action and plot-thickening, with no real explanation for the events.  Here, everything gets fleshed out, while revealing a deeper history to the whole plot.  This shows that one event from far in the past affects moments in the present.

Chapter 5, The Ties That Bind.  I've already explained this, but I'll give a brief overview here.  It's a Protestant phrase, basically talking about the wonderful bonds of love.  I wanted to show in this chapter how those bonds can be strained and strengthened.

An Answer for Everything

That is the title for chapter four.  Here the characters are all staying put and the action from previous chapters slows down by a lot.  There are only two major characters interacting throughout this entire chapter: Briok and Amar.  It's a question and answer session that of course answers some questions, but then reveals many more of them for the reader to dig into.  My only qualm about this chapter is that I may be putting too many questions in the book that WON'T be answered until much, much later in the story.  I'm talking next book later.  It's a major concern, but hopefully the coherent thematic story I'm trying to weave is going to lift the book over such a tremendous hill.

Runaway

I promise, I won't RUNAWAY with this post. Sorry, I'm a chronic pun teller. Is that what they're called? Anyways, that's the title to the third chapter of the novel Proxy Wars: Dramatis Personae.

Recently, I've revamped my query letter. The summary portion of the novel is pasted below. Again, tell me what you think of it, bring your honest criticism, don't be afraid to be harsh. I really do appreciate it. What I'm looking for are answers to two simple questions: A) Does it get you interested? B) Do you want to read more? Thank you for spending a part of your day to consider this.

The novel centers on Amar, immortal mentor to the Magna Beasts - monarchs of the alien Mags. Opposed to them are the Howlas who are led by their counterparts to the Magna Beasts, the Howlamegas. The long running holy war between the two species arrives on Earth in 2015.  More than a thousand years later in 3096 the last Magna Beast has arisen on the island country of Atlantis. Dramatis Personae focuses on Amar's attempts to train the young Briok Cwartel. As he grapples with his new pupil's adolescence, Amar also searches desperately for a way to end the war, and thereby his troubled life as well.

Meanwhile, Howlian mafias have risen to prominence within the country's power structure. At the apex of their power, the largest boss Howard Crim betrays his protege Tory Cross. Enraged, the young Tory wages war against both Atlantis and his former mentor using the recently invented laser gun. His blind bid for power threatens not only to rip apart his soul, but everything Amar has worked for.

There you go. I worked damn hard to distill the story within those two paragraphs. Honestly, every book I've read about queries has said to distill the story even further. But I've read several query letters that got agents not only interested in the product, but also ended up starting authors on their careers. They've all had longer summaries than my two short paragraphs. So, hopefully this is good enough for them. Anyways, it's late, and I've got to wake up before sunrise because I'm a food vampire now. Ramadan does that to you. Until next time then.

Some Downtime

I don't know how some bloggers do it. Once-a-week postings? I could do this daily! But then again, I don't work on The Proxy Wars daily. *I'm in college remember?* So, I've just recently gotten some downtime, and before I go off to pray one of the five daily prayers I think I'll post a little snippet from Book 1: Dramatis Personae. It's from Chapter Five: The Ties That Bind.

A little history on the title, it's a Christian tradition coming from a Protestant hymn that states, "Blessed Be the Tie That Binds." I thought it was very beautiful to show in this chapter how love can both bind people together, and drive them wildly apart. I'm only posting a short snippet here, not the whole chapter. Just to provide some context, the scene takes place at a graveyard called The Burial Mound. This place is where the six Magna Beasts who have ruled Atlantis as monarchs since the island's foundation in the year 2555 are buried. Hopefully, I've mentioned beforehand that the whole story takes place from August 3096 - May 3097 (That's to say, the whole of Book 1 takes place during that time.), so considering the Magna Beast's prolonged lifetime it makes sense how there are only six monarchs. At the Burial Mound, Briok is mourning his father with his mother, the Queen of Atlantis Sheba Cwartel. *Sheba is human, while Briok's father is the Mag*

I'll explain how an alien species mated with a human one in a later post. Don't get wigged out, it doesn't involve sex. *Is anyone else still getting shivers from District 9's concept of Nigerian prostitutes and alien suitors? I am*

If you have any criticism, please post/comment below after the jump. I appreciate all criticism and check out my query letter summary from the previous post. Please critique that one as well. Tell me if it grabs your attention, if it seems like a standout storyline different from others you've heard, and if it compels you to read further. Thanks to the two people who read this continuously so far! You know who you are. Until next time then.

3 Days Later

I know, it's not three days later since my original post. The title above is just the name of the second chapter in Book 1: Dramatis Personae.

Everything I've read about writing a query letter - because that's what you do when you finish your novel and reread it, and proofread it, and fix it, and then write it again, and then proofread...well, you get the point - says that I've got to explain my book in 3-6 sentences. So I've got it down to four.

The story takes place in the year 3096, against a backdrop of war between two alien species, the Mags and Howlas. Led by their respective leaders, the Magna Beast and the Howlamega, the two species have found themselves on Earth where they have settled into an uneasy armistice. With the murder of his father, fourteen-year-old Briok Cwartel now rises to the mantle of Last Magna Beast, forced to contend with the trials of adolescence, his half-human, half-Mag ancestry, and the amorality of his ancestor’s war. The task is not easy, and Briok’s early time as the last Magna Beast is marred by gangland warfare between competing Howlian mafias that could become the biggest threat to his life, and the lives of many others.

Does that sound interesting? I'm talking to empty space, I know. I'll try to be brave and post this on Twitter or something, but there's something in my gut that tells me not to. It could be my insecurities, or it could be the fact that my story just isn't worth the time. I think that's the issue of the day. I've been feeling so incredibly pessimistic about this damn book. I understand that, essentially, I was born with this thing rollicking inside my head. I just can't remember a time when I wasn't obsessed with the Magna Beast. Everyday, a new facet of his history comes into my head, parts of the story are scratched out, characters are repositioned. I spend so much of my imagination on this, and I still don't have an iota of confidence in it.

That could be because I gave it to a couple people to read, and they just weren't turned on by the first chapter. I've revamped it since then, cut out several awkward parts, changed character's names, whole introductions even. And I haven't gotten up the courage to give that renewed first chapter back to people. Then again, I'm sending my work to my peers, who are going to college and have better things to do than sit in and read someone else's work about a battle between good versus evil. Since when did that become childish? To write about yin and yang, about balance and humanity's constant discourse with our darker side. I'm not sure.

I expect no one to read this, I really do. Because I'm not brave enough to fight for this, I'm not brave enough to face the criticism. Maybe I'm being uncomfortably honest and raw, but that's just how I feel at this moment. I really can't explain it any other way. I remember when I gave the original version to my best friend at the time. She said she loved it. She also turned out to be a chronic liar, but I did feel genuine pride from her in me. But I've been blind before. I also gave the whole original version - which was only 150 pages, whereas this new version is at 300 - to another person who was close to me at one time. She said she loved it, and gave me honest criticism. I've used that criticism since then, but we don't talk anymore, and I can't send it to her. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're not even on looking at each other terms.

I've also had my old english teacher/Yearbook advisor read this. She also gave me honest criticism. So did her brother's agent. Her brother works at a publishing house in Seattle I guess, I'm not sure if it's a publishing house, but it does publish material, and the man was nice enough to give a fifteen year old boy's work to a reader. Both gave me the most honest criticism I've received in a long time, and said they loved it and the potential/ambition. Well, look at me. I can feel my confidence growing. Maybe I will post this on Twitter. Hell, I'll scream about it. Thanks. Until next time then.

The Joker and the Thief

So, I used to have several more posts on this blog. But that's changed since I've actually finished the third draft of my novel. I decided to delete the other posts and re-post with new information, updated backstory, and an overall introduction into the world I'm trying to create. Up there, the title, that's actually the name of the first chapter of the novel. Hopefully someone gets the reference, because that reference is the crux of theme for most of the story. I say story, because one novel simply cannot hold all of the story that I want to tell. It's impossible for a writer like me to do it. I'm not sure exactly why, but somehow I always end up with a long piece whenever I write. The finished third draft of the novel is around 300 pages. It's either a curse or a gift, and I'm leaning towards the former.

So, let me introduce you to this story I can't stop writing about. I've had this idea for a character, this quasi-imaginary friend in my head for as long as I can remember. Literally, I have no recollection of a time when I wasn't thinking about the Magna Beast and his adventures. That's the title of the main character of this story, the Magna Beast. It's only a formal title though, sort've like Doctor, or Professor. The protagonist's name is Briok Cwartel. I developed that name from a few short stories I had to write in 4th grade. Every Wednesday, or Tuesday I'm not exactly sure, my 4th grade teacher had the class write a short story using a list of vocabulary words. I created this character called Briok, who would have various adventures, and he was a recurring character over the course of 4th grade. I guess I've developed an affection for the name. Plus, it's the name of a Saint - total coincidence.

So this character, Briok Cwartel, is the Magna Beast. Being the Magna Beast entails a whole host of duties, including leading a race of aliens called the Mags, being a Prophet as well as King to them, and murder. The last part is the driving force for the plot of the story. The Magna Beast must murder the Howlamega. This latter character is another formal title. The name of the Howlamega is Kilik Qwarren. This person performs the same essential, basic duties of the Magna Beast. He - or she - is the leader of a race of aliens called the Howlas, Prophet of these people, and is also responsible for murder. He must murder the Magna Beast. The reason why I say must is because, for both the Magna Beast and Howlamega, the murder of each other is a holy mandate, a duty placed upon them by their Gods, or who they think is God.

These Gods, Tov and Yfel, are supposed to represent true, impersonal, raw embodiments of Good and Evil. You can probably see where their names came from. Briok and Kilik are only the 26th and 25th Magna Beast and Howlamega, respectively. The first Magna Beast and Howlamega were "told" that their duty was to kill each other by Tov and Yfel. I put "told" in quotation marks because when dealing with religion, there is always ambiguity as to whether or not the Prophets were actually told anything by God. Thus, this mandate - or decision - has been carried down for 26 generations, in Briok's case, and 25, in Kilik's case.

After much exposition, the essential plot element of the story is set up. Briok must kill Kilik. But, to add to the plot, there are only 26 generations of Magna Beasts and Howlamegas. So, Briok is at an extreme disadvantage. He is the last Magna Beast, and Kilik is the second to last Howlamega. That's a problem, because even if Briok manages to kill Kilik, he will still have to kill Kilik's son, or daughter.

Crazy thing is, killing isn't easy. It's very, very hard. Save for the few people with actual biological and psychological disorders, but that's way above my level of patience to research. Therefore, an essential character element is whether or not Briok can kill at all. Whether or not he's capable. Anyways, that's the main driving force of the entire story, looking at things in the big picture. Speaking of big picture, I think a rundown of the current, working, names for each novel and volume should be put down so I can better relate my story.

Basically, every novel will fall under the umbrella of The Magna Beast Chronicles. There will be three volumes to the Chronicles. Volume 1: The Proxy Wars, Volume 2: Qasida, and Volume 3: that title isn't worked out yet. :/ Each volume will consist of a certain number of books. Volume 1 will have four books: Book 1: Dramatis Personae, Book 2: Rising Action, Book 3: Climax, and Book 4: Denouement. Volume 2 will have three books, Book 1: Nasib, Book 2: Rahil, and Book 3: Ritha. Volume 3's books still haven't been worked out yet, and honestly it seems a long ways away to give any concrete details on it.

I feel like I should end it here, it's already overly long. I'll try and update this as much as possible. Until next time then.